- September 27, 2012 3 MIN READ

What is the key to being the person that everybody wants to be around?

In life, we have influential people around us all the time, some positive and of course some negative. A lot of the time, we don’t realise that the people we choose to spend our time with have a huge effect on us and these people can be a direct contributor to our success or failure.

Over the past 5 years while running Zest Possibilities I have had numerous comments on my ‘luck’, and apparent ‘ability to attract opportunities’. Now, anyone that works hard will find this ridiculous and almost offensive. We make our own luck, and by becoming an ‘energy attractive’ person, you can bring opportunities your way.

I call these people ‘Energy Vampires’. You may only have a conversation over the phone with them, or stand around them for 5 minutes but these negative minded people suck all of your energy instantly, leaving you feeling tired, unmotivated and quite unhappy.

They tend to concentrate on the problem, and love nothing more than a bit of drama to gossip about. Energy vampires don’t like to see you doing well and will always find a way to put a dampener on your good news. Definitely not the kind of people to spend time with!

If you have friends or colleagues that are generally negative or don’t support or motivate you, it’s time to act! You don’t need to cut them out of your life completely, just choose to spend 80% of your time with people who actually want you to do well. Buddha says ‘The mind is everything. What you think you become.’

Choosing to stay close to people who suck your energy will have an effect eventually and before you know it, you may adopt their way of thinking! Be wary.

Recently, I met an inspiring young lady called Samantha Gash. At 26, Samantha became the youngest, and first female to complete the ‘Racing the Planets’ Desert series, an extreme form of cross country running. I spent about an hour with her and her ‘energy’ had an unbelievable effect on me! I was left feeling fully charged, motivated and ready to take on the world. It was incredible (and I’m motivated and energetic at the best of times!)

Motivation, energy and enthusiasm is infectious. Being around a highly charged, positive person leaves you in a buzz for hours afterwards. People like Samantha are a great example of someone with ‘attractive energy’.

What is it about this kind of person that is so attractive?

This type of person is simply a great example. They are determined, aggressive towards their goals and always seem to commit 100% to everything they do.

They tend to have big, challenging goals that sound exciting and fun. When they tell you about their plans you want to be part of them!

Their positive energy and motivation rubs off on you, leaving you thinking you can do anything you put your mind to! The sky’s the limit. They build belief and destroy a fear of failure.

They encourage you to take risks and aim higher.

Do you ever get comments about how motivated you make people feel? Do amazing things always come your way?

Or, do friends or family tell you to think more positive and be more solution focused? Do you always find yourself with a problem?

When you wake up each day, choose the day you want to have. Be in control of your thoughts and stay positive!

Have goals written down that you want to achieve. Look at them twice a day and actually act.

Aim to jump out of your comfort zone once every three months. Tell everyone around you what you are aiming to do to keep yourself accountable.

Do everything with a sense of urgency! Create action, this will then create momentum and a ‘buzz’ around you. Walk fast, act fast, work fast! A girl or guy on a mission is attractive!

Smile and laugh as often as possible! Don’t take things too seriously, go with the flow.

Be consistent with your energy. Don’t surprise people by changing once an hour.

Avoid energy vampires!

An interesting exercise to do is to choose 5 people (a mix of friends, family and people you work with) and ask them to evaluate you on this topic. It’s a scary thing to do, and you have to be ready to hear things that you might not like, but it’s a very useful tool to get an outside opinion to see if there are ways you can improve.

Try to do this exercise regularly. You will find that by listening to the comments you receive you will become aware of things you do purely by habit. Once the evaluation is complete commit time to make small improvements.

This will have a dramatic affect on your life. You will find that you start to attract similar minded people. Find people like Samantha, who dream big, stay motivated and people who actually want to get something from life.

“Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can’t buy. It’s an invisible energy with visible effects.”

–  Liz Atkinson