News, Insights and Stories from the Australian and New Zealand tech ecosystem.

How to Start Up … Your own Religion?

 

Did you know that there are 30 times the amount of people in Australia that say their religion is Jedi in comparison to Scientologists? Love it, Hate it, Believe in it or Ignore it – Religion my friends is big Business, A Big tax Exempt Business.

It kind of got me thinking – Religion like everything else, had to start somewhere right? Which means that technically if you really wanted you COULD start up your own religion, and just like many religious non profit organisations make some huge profits from it – to help the greater good that is.

A few fun facts to begin with the approximate combined wealth of religions in Australia is a little over a Billion Dollars, unlike a regular startup or business though, the annoying costs associated with high growth business are avoided [such as the high taxes] meaning they experience financial growth at a higher rate. Taxes are only required where profit is generated, and so “profit” used for charitable activities put back into a religions community can’t be taxed.

Sweet – I am totally starting a new Religion. Hmmm … now what do I need

What is my religion all about?

Like in any good business, any good religion has a focus. My focus is Startups – Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to “The Church of Startups”

And what is the belief system of the Church of Startups?

We believe in the act of feeding the entrepreneurial soul and helping out the Australian Startup culture. Our Church services include readings from “The Book of Branson” and “Jobs” – At our core we want to make the world a better place through better technology and experiences.

Ok, So what are the Churches Rituals?

“happy are they who are judged, for they will learn to give better pitches”

Pitching is a core ritual in our church, along with coding, mentoring, investing and acquiring.

What about Symbols and Tools of your Church?

Good point, hmmm well crucifixes, moons, stars and smiley chubby bald men have all been taken … tell you what, I will pop something up on 99designs and get back to you on this one…

And my role within your Church? And the entire Church Structure?

Jeez … there sure is a lot to think about isn’t there – I suppose I see myself as more of a ‘Profit’ [ha dad joke] in the Church of Startups – somebody much bigger and cooler should be the high priest, like Zuckerberg.

Ok, Now it’s time to get followers and build the community … If you see some obvious virgins with perfectly combed blond hair, white t-shirts and black name tags holding ipads at Fishburners or York Butter Factory in the next few weeks – you can presume they were sent by me.

 

Prayer for Startups

Glory Be to the Inventors, the Investors and the Ideas People,

It’s effin hard in the beginning, is now and for a while will still be,

Can’t wait to be in the Black

Amen

 

 

 

 

 





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